“It’s 3AM”

It’s 3AM

“It’s 3AM” 

It’s 3AM, I’m on the road, driving about,   

At 2AM, I left my wife in bed, I can't sleep, I couldn’t, I’m restless.   

The city is silent, the road running and winding alone,   

I hope this drive unclogs my mind, unpinning the stress. 

Responsibilities stack up, bills I can’t ignore,   

Demands of provision weigh heavy, like a burden I abhor.   

How do I protect, how do I provide and stay strong,   

When every move feels desperately wrong? 

My wife sleeps soundly, dreams untroubled by strife,   

Unaware of my nightly battles, my double life.   

She sees a husband, steady and firm,   

But inside, I'm lost, fighting to confirm. 

No father’s voice peering through to guide me about,   

Each step I take, I’m not sure if that’s it.   

A career to build, but no map in hand,   

Lost in this journey, sinking in the sand. 

Streetlights pass by like a blur of fleeting hope,   

Each speeding by a reminder of life’s heavy ropes.   

The pressure to succeed, to never show fear,   

Reeks in the nightly air and it’s maddening. 

Grew up in shadows, no mentor came by,   

How could I be the man, how can I be the man  

Everyone expects?   

I’m here crafting a path from fragments,  

Broken pieces and guesses and I’m terrible at it  

I see a bar, coming up ahead, a temporary hide, I think  

But no whiskey can soothe the turmoil inside.   

I can feel dreams slip away, down this endless road,   

With every mile I drive. 

The cold night air whispers secrets I dread,   

Fears of inadequacy, thoughts left unsaid;   

No glimmer of hope comes with it, just echoes of doubt,   

This way I’m bound for the morning. 

As dawn approaches, a new day begins to loom,  

I turn back home, carrying the weight of my gloom.  

Eyes heavy with secrets, burdens deeply sown,  

Facing the daylight, feeling utterly alone. 

EroniX Poetry.